They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
