he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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