I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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