i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
