feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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