you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
