They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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