Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize