honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize