carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
