Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
