He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
