she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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