He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
