Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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