I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
