Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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