So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
