I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just forgot I was standing up.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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