If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
What a dumb baby whore.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
