I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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