we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
