with your own penis?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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