I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
