I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
