She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
