Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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