Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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