i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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