32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
