rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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