their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
