So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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