Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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