Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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