i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
