I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
