My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
