I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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