Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
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