wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
