What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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