How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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