you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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