I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
