hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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