Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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