yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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