So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
