i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Randomize
