the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
