oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'm passing your future prison.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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