You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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