I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
