The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
