I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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