You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
try to milk me bitch
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