Will you blow on my dice?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
