It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
