i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
